Do I Remember How to Do This?

Hey, blog people. Boy, oh boy has it been a minute.

We had this whole pandemic thing, I don’t know if you heard about it. And my entire life turned upside down. Maybe yours did too? And I have to say, here I am three years later, and absolute nothing is the same.

Let’s go through the boxes:

First, my career. I had so much inertia. I was booking like crazy. I was confident AF. Then, the work disappeared. It just *poof* went away. And I spent most of my time stressed out about the whole “our democracy is falling into the hands of extremists and duped people en masse led by an insane modern day orange Caligula” and doing everything I could to stop that. In between, I took gummies and went for long, serene walks breathing fresh air. No work.

My soul was lost.

The good? I started doing some directing, and found I not only love it, but I’m pretty good at it, actually. I did my first Hollywood Fringe show, although it was virtual, but that had been on my bucket list for a while. I dedicated myself to a year of meditating daily and blogging about my experience every single day (myyearofmeditation.com if you’re interested) and it was nice to get into the habit of writing.

Ok, next? My mental health. I had a looooot of time on my hands, so I started doing that deep inner healing work that we never have (make) time for in real life. I went no contact with my mother, whom I realized likely has Borderline Personality Disorder, and learned an awful lot about BPD and the effects it can have on the children who are raised with it. That was hard. Super hard. The hardest part was the confirmation that, if I stopped existing to validate my mom and fawn over her and actually set boundaries and called out any abusive behavior, she really had no use for me anymore. She was happy to end our contact. Sucks to realize you don’t have the relationship you kept willing to be there, pretending you had. But going NC felt like a huge weight and responsibility lifted.

Parenting your own parents isn’t the way things are supposed to go.

Continue reading

Meeting Lin-Manuel Miranda

On my first ever trip to New York, I met Lin-Manuel Miranda. Seriously.

I was 21 years old, freshly blonde from a modeling gig, and dating a guy whose mother happened to be a Broadway darling. Hal Prince was putting up a new show with her in it, and we were going to opening night. It was so many dreams coming true at once my head was spinning.

(Side note- thank you, always, Huck, for expanding my worldview past the Midwest and the “supposed tos” of life, and to Annie and Blake, who I am positive paid for most if not all of that trip for me. I owe you so many dinners!)

So, Lin-Manuel Miranda. During the days we were in NYC, we had Broadway shows lined up every night. I don’t really know how, but things seemed to just happen magically. We went to a Cinco de Mayo party backstage at a theatre. We had late night pizza with Donna Murphy and met James Lipton, Hal Prince, even (rude but she’s earned it) Lauren Bacall. We saw Audra Mcdonald perform (thanks David Shine!) We watched Spring Awakening in total awe, which I thought nothing could ever top. It was amazing.

BUT- there was a little Off-Broadway show everyone was talking about. This little musical “In the Heights.” It was created by this pretty talented guy who was also starring in it, which happened to be what Huck planned to do with the musical he was writing. Even though it wasn’t on Broadway, we thought we should go check it out. Huck wanted to meet the guy, maybe talk to him a little about putting your own show up.

Why not? I

still remember the feeling, sitting in that theatre, waiting with excited anticipation in the dark, then….

“LIGHTS up on Washington HEIGHTS up at the break of day…”

I still get chills thinking of it. We were both dancers, and I had never, ever seen choreo like that. Never in my life. We are used to that sing-songy rap now, thanks to Hamilton and more, but this guy brought this to the stage. No one was doing anything like this. The songs were so powerful. The story was amazing. There was hardly a moment to catch your breath.

We waited outside to meet Lin-Manuel. As far as we were concerned, he was just another dude who wrote a show and made good. We wanted to tell him how inspiring it was. Huck told him a bit about his musical. He was exhausted but polite, and we let him off the hook quickly.

We didn’t think to ask for a photo. Why would we?

I remember thinking, “I wonder if he’ll do anything else. I doubt he could top this…” Can you imagine?!

Watching “In the Heights” in the theater recently was such a crazy experience. It took me right back to being barely old enough to drink, to having my eyes opened WIDE to the possibilities of the world, to what we can make and do and who we can be. NYC was a place where no one tried to talk you into smaller, more reasonable dreams or put you to bed before 3am. A magical world where anything could happen at anytime with anyone. Where I knew I had to be someday.

I ended up in LA first and I’ll always be grateful, but the plan is most certainly to end up bicoastal, and we will. In the meantime, I’m so grateful for opportunities to visit (and even perform there!) and for all these amazing musicals coming to the big screen- a little Broadway fairy dust to sustain.

If you haven’t yet- GO SEE “IN THE HEIGHTS.” Incredible for so many reasons! It was perfect that my first time back in a movie theater was to see this film. I was already so excited to just be in that room, then the lights went down, and I got goosebumps as…

“LIGHTS up in Washington HEIGHTS up at the break of day….”

Ann Morrison, me, Huck Walton, Blake Walton
With Donna Murphy before I learned how to act remotely chill

A Whole New Book

Sometimes in life you get to start a fresh new chapter.

Today, I feel like I’m starting a whole new book.

Yep. I got that first day of school, fresh, clean notebook, crisp pages, shiny ink-filled pens vibe.

I’ve been away from LA for almost a year and a half. Not totally, strictly “away.” I’ve been there for chunks of time. Months, sometimes. But I haven’t had a true home there in something like 18 months.

It’s been an exciting 18 months, for the most part. I did get to start at Groundlings. I spent two weeks in Thailand. A month traveling all over Ecuador. Performed onstage in NYC for the first time.

I worked random jobs- a hosting gig here, a commercial there.

I got to go home- as in my birth home- a lot, spend a lot of time with family, mine and my husband’s.

Today, we are packing up the Cadillac and starting the road trip home. To the west coast. To LA. To the place my dreams live. To the city that makes me feel like I can take a deep breath and be the most me.

Life is full of twists and turns you can never expect. Now it’s time to ride those twists and turns out west, to jump on Route 66 and start my new book with a road trip adventure.

Also, Los Angeles is now offering yoga classes with Lola the Sloth, so it seems my return is just in time. 🙂

 

Los Angeles Triggers My Eating Disorder, and It Sucks So Hard

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I got back to LA a little more than three weeks ago. I was so excited to be home! I have loved this city since the minute my plane landed at LAX the very first time. I love the ocean, the palm trees, the people, the nightlife, the history, the mountains, and god I love the film and television industry.

I love being an actor. I love it so much. I love making movies and TV shows. I love booking the role, being on set, promoting the film. I love meeting other creative people on the job. I love telling stories, stepping into another person’s shoes. I love making people laugh, or making them think, or giving them a break from thinking too hard. I love doing 20 takes and discovering something new on the 21st. I love knowing I’m in the same union as Meryl Streep and George Clooney. I love this business with all my heart.

I’ve been acting for 25 years. I’ve never wanted to do or be anything else. I knew when I was 7 years old I wanted to do this for a living. My career is what drives me. My dreams gave me the strength to survive a rocky childhood, to get out of my small town, to press on when I could barely see one speck of light at the end of a long, dark, scary tunnel. I owe my life to discovering a passion for performing. I really believe that.

So here I am, finally, back where all my dreams come true. Hollywood. A place my heart feels at home, where I truly belong. Where I’ve always been happiest and most alive.  Continue reading

Back in the City of Angels

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I’m home. I’m HOME! I’m so happy to be back, I can’t even begin to tell you. My heart is here in LA…. and now the rest of me is, too.

I watched La La Land (finally!) on the plane ride here. My husband and I watched it together, and we were equally teary by the end. I’m not a particularly critical person- I like to like things for what they are, not tear them apart for what I want them to be, generally- but I above and beyond loved that film. Obsessed. Amazed.

 

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That lighting is the reason we all moved here. Magic.

 

 

A love letter to the city I love? An offering of hope and joy to the “ones who dream”? A story of artistic soul mates without a cheesy romanticized ending, where they learn some crap like “love matters more than everything you ever wanted”?  Continue reading

A Blogger in Ecuador: Technology Wars

Ok, I have SO many blog drafts started, but I’m having some major technical issues, so I wanted to give you a quick update from Mindo! Many more posts to come, with details and photos and stories and joy, I promise. Hang with me, friends! 

Things I Want to Share Quickly: 

1. At orientation, we were told it is best not to bring laptops. I am a rule follower, so I listened. I sincerely regret that decision! (If you are googling and searching the internet, as I did, for tips on traveling with Dramatic Adventure Theatre, here is one: if you want your laptop, bring it!)

2. I brought my iPad with a keyboard case thing as a compromise. Day 1, I plugged the keyboard in to charge, and it never, ever came back to life. Considering it only cost $20 on Groupon, I consider it a win that it lasted a year or so. Still, its untimely death was truly unfortunate, because….

3. It’s impossible to find most things at most stores in Ecuador. I certainly haven’t stumbled across an electronics store yet. It was an epic journey just to find a bag of nuts and some curl creme. (Mine exploded in the bag on the way over.) 

4. This trip has without a doubt been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. More detailed blogs to follow, but let’s just start by saying I’m being stretched and pushed and challenged in terrifying ways ALL the time. They say a DAT day = three regular days, as far as how much happens. I have to agree. 

5. Ecuador is so beautiful all the time. I can’t take it. 

6. The kids we have been working with in the different communities, from mountains to island, are more amazing than words can express. I will definitely try to find the words for future blog posts, I promise.

7. I’m really, really proud of the work we’ve done so far. 

8. I miss home like crazy, even though I love it here. 

9. There was no phone connection and only the tiniest, weakest wifi the entire 11 days I was in the Galapagos. The wifi on the mainland is super hit or miss- mostly miss. My phone connection comes in and out, but it isn’t cheap to keep that turned on! 

10. I really, really want to post some photos in this post, but I’ve learned the hard way they when writing a blog post on my phone, the pics take SO long to load over this connection, it freezes the post and I’m lost in no man’s land. 

11. I have a couple of friends with laptops here I am certain are kind enough to share, because all the other actors I’m traveling with are absolutely amazing, wonderful human beings. Talented, brilliant, loving, open….I’m so happy to be a part of this group.

12. Worst case scenario: If I can’t organize a laptop, blogs start rolling in when I reach NYC in a week. 

13. I’m exhausted. 

14. I am grateful. 

15. We have SO, SO, SO much in our country. So much opportunity, so much convenience, so much stuff, so much food, so MUCH. 

I haven’t forgotten about you. But the internet gods DID forget about ME. Stay tuned…. 

(We can still accept donations, and they are, in fact, badly needed! Please click below for more info and, if you are able, share the link! Thank you!)

https://www.gofundme.com/SabrinaInEcuador

When You Feel You’re “Missing Out” on the Bigger Things

Being the age

I dropped out of college after about two and a half years. I say “about” because I sort of just stopped showing up somewhere during my fifth semester. I wasn’t being lazy or giving up- quite the contrary. I was working several jobs to make ends meet, so when I started booking paid acting and modeling work, I didn’t have time to fit in everything. I figured I didn’t need a theatre degree for my career as an actor if I was working as an actor, so I let the need to finish school go.

(Side note- I am not advocating the idea that one should take dropping out of school lightly. However, I also don’t think anyone should finish college and get up their eyeballs in debt if it doesn’t make sense for their lives. Another blog post for another day.)

Since I left school before most people I knew at the time who were pursuing the acting life, I suddenly had this feeling that I was a little bit “ahead.” Not as a person, or an actor, definitely not in experience or financially, but just as far as time was concerned. It was like I had two “free years”, where all acting credits and experience were “bonus”, where I could slack off or not, and it didn’t matter. Continue reading

Volunteer Trip to Ecuador!

action Ecuador

I have amazing news- an upcoming project I’m incredibly excited about!!

I’ve been cast with a group of actors and artists going to Ecuador this summer. We will be living there for 30 days, participating in a series of workshops, lectures, and incredible experiences.

The BEST part is that we get a chance to give back and make a real difference. Our group will work within disenfranchised communities and with indigenous people, empowering the local youth with theatrical education. We will help them find their voices through the magic of acting and playwriting, giving them the tools to tell their stories.

This will all culminate with the creation and performance of our own original pieces inspired by our experiences in Ecuador. Our casts will preview these works in Quito before performing them in a festival in NYC the following week. Continue reading

“Get Out” – Why I Still Can’t Breathe

Film Title: Get Out

 

Holy SHIT guys.

I just (finally) watched Get Out– Jordan Peele’s incredible, insane, amazing, terrifying, thought-provoking directorial debut. That’s right…debut. Like, “oh, I’ve never done this before, but lemme just give it a shot, and DO IT PERFECTLY.”

Oh, he wrote it, too, because he is a film robot. He’s the Tom Brady of creating content. Comedy? Sure. Horror? Why not.

I had to blog because I have to talk about this! It’s consuming my brain! It’s like it moved into my mind, rented an apartment, and is just sitting there, like, “remember THIS scene?! THAT scene?! How about the BINGO SCENE!?!?”

This blog is probably a safer read if you’ve seen the film already. I don’t know if there will be spoilers yet, but probably. I’m just free writing what the film alien that has taken up residence in my mind tells me to write.

I have to get it out of my head.  Continue reading

Should I Join SAG-AFTRA?

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Easily the most frequent question I get from other actors is this-

“Should I join the union?”

It comes in many forms. “Am I ready?” “Is it worth it?” “Will I still be able to work?”

This blog post is dedicated to helping you answer that question. After all, you’re really the only one who can make this decision for yourself. Let’s explore all the elements you should consider before plunking down a hard earned 3,000 bucks! Continue reading