It Never Fails…

Covid

Ya know, I live an exciting life. I’ll admit it. I like it that way.

I don’t necessarily mean “exciting” in a way you might think. I’m not casually chilling on yachts with billionaires or flying private jets to exotic locations (though my vision board has grand plans for the future!) I’m not an adrenaline junkie, skydiving and bungee jumping off tall buildings. (I mean, I’ve raced really expensive cars on race tracks- but mostly during these adventures I focused on not throwing up.) Plus, I’m a huge introvert, so a lot of my nights I’m perfectly happy curled up with a book or Netflix and some popcorn, to be honest.

So, no, not exciting to some. But my life is exciting in that it’s never predictable, and it usually flies a mile a minute (with “Introvert Days” baked in for mental balance!) My husband and I are often told people are tired just thinking about our lives. We get a lot of “how do you keep up with it?” and “when do you sleep?”

(Answers: “no idea, but it’s fun!” and “husband never does, but I’m a monster if I go more than one night with less than 8 hours!”)

I’m not saying this to brag (like, at all), but actually to explain a little about this blog, and also, I guess, just where I’m at mentally lately. Because this whole “worldwide pandemic” thing… well, that’s changed an awful lot. Continue reading

Heading Into 2020!

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2019- WOW!

That year flew by. I say this every year, I know. Don’t we all? But this year was so jam-packed, I literally feel like I remember it being February, then I blinked, and BOOM!- it’s December!

One of my big goals this year was to spend time and energy on this blog turning into what I really want it to be, which is an open and honest account of my experience living in (and celebrating) my city of LA while navigating the entertainment industry (sharing fun behind the scenes, “what’s it really like?” details) while also managing depression, anxiety, bipolar II, an eating disorder, etc.

I also wanted to start speaking with other artists and creatives who deal with various mental illnesses about their experiences.

However, as is life, 2019 took me over. I’m not complaining, I’m actually extremely grateful. Some of it was personal- we bought a beautiful new house in Michigan last summer, and anyone who has ever moved knows what that process is like! The searching, buying, moving, filling with furniture, decorating, setting up every new account, changing addresses- whew! It’s a LOT. We are so grateful to have that end of our two-state operation semi-permanently settled, however, after 8 years of moving around a LOT with three kids! Continue reading

March in the City of Stars

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Photo by Teo Duldulao on Unsplash

I love LA this time of year. I really do. It’s still cold (and GOD has it been raining this year) but the warm, sunny days are coming more frequently and isn’t so hot yet that you don’t appreciate them. There is something blooming about now that might be my favorite smell in the world. I’m not a flower person, I have no idea what it is. From the smell, I would guess it’s called something like “honeysuckle”.

Is there a flower person in LA reading this blog? What flower is that? It blooms like crazy every spring and makes everything smell delicious and amazing and edible.

It reminds me of when I first moved here. My first official spot in LA (after some couch crashing- sorry I filled your living room with balloons while I trained for my weird party clown job, David) was in the Hollywood Hills. The flowers that blossomed up there smelled like what heaven must smell like. Not the Christian heaven, which I always imagine smells like Pine-sol. Like…maybe a Buddhist heaven. Or whatever atheist liberal heaven is.

That can’t be the best way to explain that….but there it is.

Anyway, whenever I get a big breeze carrying that gorgeous LA spring smell, I’m totally transported back to the excitement of first moving here. I remember when getting hired as a party clown was a positive thing, back before numerous side jobs beat all the spirit out of me and I learned to hate all people. When LA was a city of dreams and famous people and possibilities. When I only had to find $500 a month for rent….in the Hollywood Hills….three houses away from Lindsay Lohan.

Ahhhh the good old days.

A few things have stayed the same. I still love the smell. I still feel LA is a city of dreams and famous people and possibilities. I will never again clown, and I literally can’t stretch my imagination to the realm of $500 rent. (Guys….can we imagine this? Did I move to LA in 1956?)

But, god, I’m still excited.

I’m not in the habit of dishing out unsolicited advice (hahaha yes I am, I’m the oldest of 6, I give out advice like it’s my job, y’all- it’s very annoying), but I’m going to give you some (more than I already do) right now, dear reader.

Live a life that gets you excited as hell. Whatever you have to do, do it. ESPECIALLY those of us that deal with depression and anxiety and every other type of mental crap. Because when SO many days are hard for no reason, shouldn’t the rest of those days be outstanding? Joyful? Shouldn’t they happen in a place or with a job or in a relationship where you can’t WAIT to get out of bed and be a part of it??

Find the thing. Find your thing. You deserve it! We all fucking deserve to have as much happiness as we can find in this brief time on the planet.

Whatever your place is, whatever your situation is, find somewhere where the flowers are always blooming for you, where the very smell in the air makes you skip down the street. God, you owe it to yourself. I don’t care if it’s a corner of your basement or a whole city. A nine to five or a dance class. A whole life upheaval or organizing that awful closet once and for all. Find it. Claim it. Proudly.

My head and my nose and my heart are so full of happy. There’s so much work to be done in the world, I know, but we may as well do it from our happy places! I, for one, will be stopping to smell the (What is it? Gerber something? Hydrangea? Is that a gardenia? Guys, help!) a lot this season.

You CAN Go Home Again

Home. The City of Angels. SoCal. LA. We made it back.

I once heard someone say that once you live somewhere for ten years, you are really from there. Does Los Angeles count for me? I celebrated my ten year anniversary of moving here at the end of April.

Of course, I took some breaks. I spent a year in Atlanta, chunks of time away to make a movie in Minnesota, to travel Ecuador, to all over North America when I worked jobs for Porsche, a long time to shack up with the husband in Michigan….

Still, I felt like an Angeleno the moment I arrived.

I’ll never forget that flight. My boyfriend at the time and I had decided to move to LA, not New York as we had always planned. I honestly forget why. We were living in Sarasota, Florida, doing a long run of a show. Evita. A ten week run. Maybe we were burnt out on the idea of eight shows a week for a while. I think maybe his dad suggested to us we try LA. I know NYC had always been the end game…we had visited for long periods and loved it.

Maybe it was a fluke. Something about the movies drew us in. I really can’t say a decade later. Continue reading

A Whole New Book

Sometimes in life you get to start a fresh new chapter.

Today, I feel like I’m starting a whole new book.

Yep. I got that first day of school, fresh, clean notebook, crisp pages, shiny ink-filled pens vibe.

I’ve been away from LA for almost a year and a half. Not totally, strictly “away.” I’ve been there for chunks of time. Months, sometimes. But I haven’t had a true home there in something like 18 months.

It’s been an exciting 18 months, for the most part. I did get to start at Groundlings. I spent two weeks in Thailand. A month traveling all over Ecuador. Performed onstage in NYC for the first time.

I worked random jobs- a hosting gig here, a commercial there.

I got to go home- as in my birth home- a lot, spend a lot of time with family, mine and my husband’s.

Today, we are packing up the Cadillac and starting the road trip home. To the west coast. To LA. To the place my dreams live. To the city that makes me feel like I can take a deep breath and be the most me.

Life is full of twists and turns you can never expect. Now it’s time to ride those twists and turns out west, to jump on Route 66 and start my new book with a road trip adventure.

Also, Los Angeles is now offering yoga classes with Lola the Sloth, so it seems my return is just in time. 🙂

 

My Husband & I Live in Separate States- All Your Questions Answered

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The heart isn’t in the right place…but our hearts are…. #cheesy

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, people really feel for you. You get a lot of “Oooo that’s so hard.” Loads of sympathy. It’s great!

When you’re in a long-distance marriage, the questions and comments change. They range from much more curious (“How on Earth does that work?”) all the way to completely judgmental (“Do you not like being around each other?”). (Although couples who have been married for a long time often remark that a long-distance marriage is brilliant, which I love!)

So, in the spirit of sharing, and possibly saving myself some future explanations, I thought I would make a little FAQ.

Spoiler alert: YES, we really like being around each other. A whole lot. Maybe too much.

The “My Husband and I Live in Two Different States Official FAQ”!

Q: Wait, you and your husband live in two different states?!

A: Yeah.

Q: Really?

A: Well, it depends on how you look at it. I often say we both live in both places. Technically, his residence is in Michigan, and mine is in California. He spends more time in Detroit, I spend a lot more time in Los Angeles.

Q: But…why?

A: The basic reason is that we have three awesome kids from Steve’s first marriage. They are in Michigan, so we need to be in Michigan as well. His job is also mostly in Detroit, though he does work out of the LA office at times.

My home and my career are in Los Angeles, so that’s where I need to be.

Q: Oh yeah- how does that work with your jobs? Continue reading

AFI Fest, Hostiles, and the “LA Party”

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Ah, LA parties. If you want to see a bunch of people packed into a small space with little to no food, all sort of talking to each other but mostly looking around the room to see if there’s anyone more exciting nearby, get yourself to any industry related party in Los Angeles.

And “industry related” really just means there are actors there, I think.

Tonight I went to one such party. AFI Fest is happening now, and I want to do a huge shoutout because, at least for now, it’s my second favorite film festival in LA. The American Film Institute appreciates and celebrates the art of film in an important way, and their festival reflects that. If you get a chance, get your tickets now. (They have a Robert Altman career retrospective this year. What else do you need?)

Tonight my girl Kristine and I went to a screening of Scott Cooper’s new film Hostiles. It’s an epic western starring Christian Bale, Rosamund Pike, and a generally incredible cast, and I definitely recommend seeing it. It isn’t a perfect film by any means, but I like to judge art based on how it moves you and what it makes you look at inside yourself or out in the world. I was definitely moved, and I think the types of conversations this movie sparks are important to have. Continue reading

Back in the City of Angels

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I’m home. I’m HOME! I’m so happy to be back, I can’t even begin to tell you. My heart is here in LA…. and now the rest of me is, too.

I watched La La Land (finally!) on the plane ride here. My husband and I watched it together, and we were equally teary by the end. I’m not a particularly critical person- I like to like things for what they are, not tear them apart for what I want them to be, generally- but I above and beyond loved that film. Obsessed. Amazed.

 

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That lighting is the reason we all moved here. Magic.

 

 

A love letter to the city I love? An offering of hope and joy to the “ones who dream”? A story of artistic soul mates without a cheesy romanticized ending, where they learn some crap like “love matters more than everything you ever wanted”?  Continue reading

Acting Basics- 3 Things to Bring to an Audition

Getting started in the world of acting can be intimidating. There are a lot of skills, terms, practices, and tools you need to know to put your best foot forward. In this “Acting Basics” series, I’ll introduce you to some easy tips, explanations, and checklists to help navigate the overload of information out there.

If you choose to study acting in a college or conservatory setting, you will of course learn a lot of the basic things you need to know right away. That’s a major benefit of choosing to pay for school, as well as starting out with a network of fellow artists before you get moving on your professional path. However, you don’t need a degree to be an actor, and this can be an expensive way to obtain these things.

So here, free to you, is my blog. I plan to load this baby up with great resources for actors. I’ve been a professional actor for many years now, and have worked across theatre, film, television, etc, at all different levels, in many different locations. Through this blog, I’d like to pay forward some of what I’ve learned, as so many have for me over the past decade and a half!

Let’s start with the very, very basics. A few things you will need to go to an audition without looking like you have no idea what you’re doing.  Continue reading

Love Letter to You, Inspired by Earthquakes and Migraines

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Los Angeles has been on an earthquake alert for a few days, which is supposed to end today. Earthquakes are part of life here, and we haven’t seemed able to predict them too accurately, so it didn’t alarm me much. Especially when I read that the highest likelihood was still something like 1 in 100. Nothing to flee the city over.

My husband and I discussed it a little though, and he was a little worried. He actually asked (possibly half jokingly) if I should move my upcoming trip to Michigan up and come yesterday instead. We sort of laughed, though, of course you wonder….better safe than sorry?

But, if I wanted to truly be out of the earthquake zone, I would have to just move. So, I stay. I love Los Angeles that much. It’s my home. A little shakeup can’t scare me away!

Tonight, out of nowhere, a terrible migraine hit me. It’s 8:30p, and I have to just sleep it off. I know these migraines- the only answer is to close my eyes and sleep as long as possible. To that end- and because I’ve had a little anxiety over a few personal things- I took an entire Xanax to help me sleep uninterrupted and wake up fresh and new tomorrow.

After I took the Xanax, after I became extremely drowsy, Tigre started acting up. Continue reading