Do I Remember How to Do This?

Hey, blog people. Boy, oh boy has it been a minute.

We had this whole pandemic thing, I don’t know if you heard about it. And my entire life turned upside down. Maybe yours did too? And I have to say, here I am three years later, and absolute nothing is the same.

Let’s go through the boxes:

First, my career. I had so much inertia. I was booking like crazy. I was confident AF. Then, the work disappeared. It just *poof* went away. And I spent most of my time stressed out about the whole “our democracy is falling into the hands of extremists and duped people en masse led by an insane modern day orange Caligula” and doing everything I could to stop that. In between, I took gummies and went for long, serene walks breathing fresh air. No work.

My soul was lost.

The good? I started doing some directing, and found I not only love it, but I’m pretty good at it, actually. I did my first Hollywood Fringe show, although it was virtual, but that had been on my bucket list for a while. I dedicated myself to a year of meditating daily and blogging about my experience every single day (myyearofmeditation.com if you’re interested) and it was nice to get into the habit of writing.

Ok, next? My mental health. I had a looooot of time on my hands, so I started doing that deep inner healing work that we never have (make) time for in real life. I went no contact with my mother, whom I realized likely has Borderline Personality Disorder, and learned an awful lot about BPD and the effects it can have on the children who are raised with it. That was hard. Super hard. The hardest part was the confirmation that, if I stopped existing to validate my mom and fawn over her and actually set boundaries and called out any abusive behavior, she really had no use for me anymore. She was happy to end our contact. Sucks to realize you don’t have the relationship you kept willing to be there, pretending you had. But going NC felt like a huge weight and responsibility lifted.

Parenting your own parents isn’t the way things are supposed to go.

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My Husband & I Live in Separate States- All Your Questions Answered

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The heart isn’t in the right place…but our hearts are…. #cheesy

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, people really feel for you. You get a lot of “Oooo that’s so hard.” Loads of sympathy. It’s great!

When you’re in a long-distance marriage, the questions and comments change. They range from much more curious (“How on Earth does that work?”) all the way to completely judgmental (“Do you not like being around each other?”). (Although couples who have been married for a long time often remark that a long-distance marriage is brilliant, which I love!)

So, in the spirit of sharing, and possibly saving myself some future explanations, I thought I would make a little FAQ.

Spoiler alert: YES, we really like being around each other. A whole lot. Maybe too much.

The “My Husband and I Live in Two Different States Official FAQ”!

Q: Wait, you and your husband live in two different states?!

A: Yeah.

Q: Really?

A: Well, it depends on how you look at it. I often say we both live in both places. Technically, his residence is in Michigan, and mine is in California. He spends more time in Detroit, I spend a lot more time in Los Angeles.

Q: But…why?

A: The basic reason is that we have three awesome kids from Steve’s first marriage. They are in Michigan, so we need to be in Michigan as well. His job is also mostly in Detroit, though he does work out of the LA office at times.

My home and my career are in Los Angeles, so that’s where I need to be.

Q: Oh yeah- how does that work with your jobs? Continue reading

13 Not-So-Obvious Things My Husband Does That Make Our Marriage Amazing

Ok, so I’m going to totally brag for a second. Don’t worry, it’s not about me.

See, I have an awesome husband. I’m one of those women that other women are always pulling aside and saying stuff like, “Steve is SUCH a great guy! You’re so lucky!” and “If only we all had a Steve.”  Dudes are constantly joking, “Tell him to stop! He’s making the rest of us look bad!” Seriously. Nonstop.

What is it about him that inspires such sentiments? Well, it’s pretty simple. Steve is just a really great guy, all around. Great boss, great dad, great husband. Nay- amazing husband. He’s fun, easy to talk to, kind, thoughtful, generous, funny, smart, and a great listener. My sister once described him as “the most instantly welcoming person I’ve ever met.”

It’s all true. I’m a lucky girl. But really, that generic stuff only scratches the surface. I’d like to take a moment to share with you a few of the things Steve does, all the time, that take our marriage from “pretty good” to so great that women are always commenting on our social media with “#relationshipgoals” and “Does Steve have a single brother? Or have we figured out cloning technology yet….?” Continue reading