Hey, blog people. Boy, oh boy has it been a minute.
We had this whole pandemic thing, I don’t know if you heard about it. And my entire life turned upside down. Maybe yours did too? And I have to say, here I am three years later, and absolute nothing is the same.
Let’s go through the boxes:
First, my career. I had so much inertia. I was booking like crazy. I was confident AF. Then, the work disappeared. It just *poof* went away. And I spent most of my time stressed out about the whole “our democracy is falling into the hands of extremists and duped people en masse led by an insane modern day orange Caligula” and doing everything I could to stop that. In between, I took gummies and went for long, serene walks breathing fresh air. No work.
My soul was lost.
The good? I started doing some directing, and found I not only love it, but I’m pretty good at it, actually. I did my first Hollywood Fringe show, although it was virtual, but that had been on my bucket list for a while. I dedicated myself to a year of meditating daily and blogging about my experience every single day (myyearofmeditation.com if you’re interested) and it was nice to get into the habit of writing.
Ok, next? My mental health. I had a looooot of time on my hands, so I started doing that deep inner healing work that we never have (make) time for in real life. I went no contact with my mother, whom I realized likely has Borderline Personality Disorder, and learned an awful lot about BPD and the effects it can have on the children who are raised with it. That was hard. Super hard. The hardest part was the confirmation that, if I stopped existing to validate my mom and fawn over her and actually set boundaries and called out any abusive behavior, she really had no use for me anymore. She was happy to end our contact. Sucks to realize you don’t have the relationship you kept willing to be there, pretending you had. But going NC felt like a huge weight and responsibility lifted.
Parenting your own parents isn’t the way things are supposed to go.Continue reading